I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize