In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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