This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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