What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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