Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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