I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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