Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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