Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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