I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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