I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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