i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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