i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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