So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
