Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
