I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i've created a new STD.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
