I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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