don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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