he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
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I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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