I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
