ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
