it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
