we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
