You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
