didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
