I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
