Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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