if you like me you must not know who I am
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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