haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
