When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
