Pants 0. Shit 1.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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