so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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