i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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