i just google imaged poop.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
