I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
