My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
