did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Buhtt sex?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize