Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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