its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm having to shit out rocks
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
