I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize