what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
