Got a toothbrush?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Mom said you looked used
How external is "for external use only"?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
