bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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