just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
