well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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