she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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