CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
