you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My hand turned me down
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
