she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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