My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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