grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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