Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
