so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Fuck appropriateness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
