The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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