i permit you to call me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
