oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
