My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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