there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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