Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You should frame my arrest warrant.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
