I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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