fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
