i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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