white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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