We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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