I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize