At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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