i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?