break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
