so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
