Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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