what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
