After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
